Why we broke-up #003

Hi Achman, I hear there’s a segment on your blog that let’s people put down why they are no longer shagging their exes. Well, here goes mine. I don’t even know if I made the right decision, not that I regret it anyway. I deserve better. Aki imagine dating a non performer, aki me I keeent! I just can’t. Hope you don’t publish my details or describe my physique (Cause I know what you are capable of, you guy).

So there is this dude I met six months ago. I had just got my first salary and with the current unemployment situation in Kenya, I had to celebrate my first job salary. “Coast mwisho,” I told myself. Madaraka Express had to happen. Hi-hi SGR manenos.

Guess who takes up the seat next to me on the train? Imagine he even offered to get drinks for both of us? And the way he’s handsome, wueeehhh! Tall, nice beards, nice haircut, chocolate, pink lips, deep voice (wooow), matching body size (you know Idris Elbar?), good shoes, sexy look. Yup, I liked him there and there, why lie?

We even started seeing each other the following weekend when I came back. I went over, he lives in a descent one bedroom. Wah! Ladies! Have you ever found a guy that you were more than willing to give in during your first ever sleep over? Yaani you just see him in his sleeping shots and immediately, your temps shoot and you become weak…(I knowww) I vumiliad though, we did it the following Saturday (Ti-hi-hi I kent forget!).

Aki just imagine after all the anticipation, dude gets done within the first 30 seconds and calls it a night! Like seriously dude? I got ready, trimmed, and spent more than two hours on traffic just to come here and be left hanging? Dude doesn’t even care about your feelings. Nkt.

Of course I thought it was a ‘first-case’ anticipation that could not be repeated. Oops! I was wrong. Second time the same happened, dude just makes you dirty and falls off after half a minute. Then he sleeps like everything is okay and leaves you struggling the whole night.

That, plus the Karura forest that he never attends to! Like does he rear rabbits in there or something?

With his Karura forest, Mr handsome guy leaves you hanging all the time yet wakes up the next morning to call you all manner of soothing names and makes breakfast thinking there’s no milk in your house. I keent.

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