My darling..

Again I didn’t write to you yesterday. That alone makes me ill and guilty. It doesn’t give me peace. Not writing to you feels like betrayal. My love, something tells me I should just jump into a drum of petrol and set myself ablaze. I swear I can’t even sleep. I know you will be tempted to think I slept in another woman’s house again, that’s a lie. A fat lie. The kind that only escapes your beautiful lips when that person you don’t like asks you out. Ok, I spent the entire night in the cold, outside my room. I’ll explain.

I had planned to write to you during the day but you see, there’s a life to chase and a future to secure. Not that I consider the two important than you, No. You know we won’t eat love and sleep. You’ll need a designer bra on your 31st birthday, we’ll need to school our kids in those prestigious kindergartens we never attended ourselves, we’ll need enough money to purchase land and build in the outskirts of Nairobi, the Rolls Royce Phantom won’t be fueled by love or letters. So yeah, finding time during the day was hectic.

By the way, good news! I’m getting myself a car very soon. Yes, you heard me well – a car, not a cab. Now we won’t have to fix ourselves in those long queues in town waiting to board a City Hoppa. No more paying exorbitant matatu charges from Rongai to town. No more fines of cancelling an uber ride.

Anyway.

So last evening, when I had just destroyed rice na mguu ya kuku and was now relaxed on a chair (you know that time when you are just in your on world thinking about nothing and everything). So I’m there, my head held backwards and supported by the neck, my eyes fixed on the ceiling, lips parting slowly. Then I see two lizards holding onto each other and running from the other corner. And because I’m just so tired and thinking about so many things, I soon forget about them. My love! I almost swallowed those two reptiles! With my mouth wide open, the two lizards just dropped in effortlessly and caused so much chaos. Don’t joke with two aroused animals on (at) cloud nine!

I jumped so high and screeched so loudly you’d think I’d been dipped in boiling oil. Everything close to me was sent into the air. In the process, I ended up kicking the only light bulb in the room that readily burst into pieces. Then on my way back, my bum landed on the legs of the seat I’d previous sat on (that was now on the floor), and the back of my head met with the extension cable. I lay there for close to five minutes in darkness not knowing what to do. Then when I finally regained consciousness, I ran out of my room. I needed somewhere to wash my mouth thoroughly. But as you will see, that was the worst mistake I’d done.

So after 20 minutes of scrubbing my tongue and teeth, I walked back. But was I to find my keys? And do you think you just walk into other people’s houses late in the night to tell them you lost your keys? What if they ask you “So tukusaidie aje boss?” or what if they say you are just trying to seduce their only daughter given the way you are dressed? So in my short and gray vest, I sat at my door and saw the night away. The cold!

I love you. I can now sleep!

Dedix: Kwa Ngwaru…

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Achman is a Co founder - Creatives Kenya. Studied journalism and does a gazillion things. In descent places people know him as George Achoka. Email achoka@creativeskenya.com Get him on Twitte here:

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