Five fuckboy bingo!

You know what’s worse than a heartbreak? Blue ticks, and you know what’s worse than blue ticks? A fuckboy! Yes, a NIGGAR that awakens a lady’s feeling with no intention of loving her. Like slay queens and corruption, they are also on the upsurge, here are 5 fuckboys bingo.


He takes time to study his target, could be weeks or even months of serious stalking on Instagram or Facebook before making an assumption. His first step is always to send her a friend request and immediately likes all her photos skipping the ones she’s with a male then logs out without saying a word to her hopping his plans of her  starting the conversation with a “thank you”  works.

BTW most do work!

She’s just a friend!

Like Liverpool, he never walks alone, he’s connected to many lady friends than guys and so is his contact list just in case dry spell hits. You’ll see him walk out of his bedsitter with different ladies every weekend, even has the courtesy to borrow his female neighbors latest movies, sufuria or pan so that he can impress them only to deny later when asked with, “she’s just a friend” slang but would lock the door with a padlock na kutoa viatu zake nje then increase the woofer’s volume ndio musijue ako na mtu, for he knows siku moja simba anaweza kosa nyama.


From his appearance to his level of intelligence, it’s easy to conclude that he’s counterfeit! Fake online lifestyle, from followers to all the likes and views on social media platforms, kinky hairstyles, skinny jeans with oversize basketball t-shirts fashion, odi dance posture, body piercings, complicated tattoos and mostly skinny.

He’ll be like, hey, you know I’m a shy guy, I always lack the courage to talk to ladies, you deserve someone better than me, I promise, tukifuck, I won’t tell anybody etc. reverse psychology! It’s a bait that girl A to girl Z have fallen to and the easiest way to lure a girl and after he gets what he want, she’ll be left as a motivational speaker on social media of how all men are dogs and trash!


He’s a perfect seducer, knows how to execute to his fulfillment that huwa inatoa nyoka pangoni. Not that he reads the seduction books or articles, hail no! This is an understatement to the scholars’ fraternity. He gets these “you just get me, niko na Netflix, nitaingiza kichwa tu, you are so easy to talk to” etc. seduction lines from movies and series he spends most of his hours watching. He’s is an ordinary guy trying to live a life that exceeds his limits, far from being independent, huyu ndio yule alitumia mwakenya akiwa shule or still using it, never lacks oversize t shirts and  hoods, uses dull bulbs and have curtains on every opening of his ‘always organized’ bedsitter when expecting someone.


He always have excuses on his fingertips for each particular situation. He’ll interrupt girl A to C at midnight after disappearing for weeks with a “hey, you up? Sorry my phone died, sorry work has been so busy,” etc. texts when baba nani gets hard to control and if one delays to respond, he will ignore her text message even when he’s clearly online with an assumption of, “tuone atanyimana mpaka lini!”



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miriel kanani July 20, 2018 at 10:23 am


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