“Mathee, leo ni holiday, chafua meza, na upigie ambulance simu in advance!” Shouted Puffman immediately we sat at our usual ‘VIP’ spot.

Hey, indeed today seems to be special. Take a look around, the club is fully packed with smiles everywhere. No one seems to be thinking about the NYS corruption saga, the famous handshake and most importantly that landlord who adds you a second padlock on your door with a note “reo ni murango, kesho ni dirisha, ripa nyuba tafathari, Kihara, radrod.” A few bold inscriptions. “Nashukuru sikujaliwa kiburi lakini chembe chembe za dharau ninazo, ukijifanya keki, mimi samosa, nina nyama ndani.Kihara and sons.”

Jaber, zake zishakika is busy texting with his sweet mama, trying to explain why he didn’t make for the ‘holiday exclusive’ session as he enjoys the soft music. Chalkman on the other hand is busy on the prediction cite analyzing international games ndio ajue kama leo atakula muhindi ao la. Puffman with a dunhill in his fingers as usual, is trying to make as many puffs as possible to gain the courage to vibe that new ‘clande’ at the counter.

What of you amicus taberna (friend of the pub)? What’s unique about you today apart from those ‘American lifestyle’ thoughts? Do you want everyone here to see you as just that regular guy, devoutly committed to the ordinary predictability of an ordinary life? ‘The good guy’ as you are known, single, far from religious ardent, social moderate, ethnically hybrid, physically fit, fond of football, bored by soap operas, reads more that he should, is nonetheless occasionally tempted, doesn’t gamble and doesn’t look forward for his end of semester exams.

Is that what you want, is it? Come on, try something out of the usual today. See those ladies at the far end, yes, the ones who always wake up by your beds side when the alcohol is in control, I bet you know nothing about any of them, this is an opportunity to start something. Not all happily ever afrter couples meet in churches, you know?

“Hey guys, look at this text that ‘mama nyumba has just sent me!” interrupted Chalkman.

Damn! For how long will they keep interrupting!

“Beb, where are you? We need to talk, its day 15 and aunty shiro hasn’t paid me a visit yet!” the text read.

Oh! Love,

I always tell the boy child to always remember that one cannot put love on the table and eat it for supper and the much needed calories. But it’s already said and done, he didn’t strap, we don’t need details why but we have to deal with this damage control.

So what options do we have here?

Keeping it, means added responsibility to our ‘never walk alone’ brother, it means he has to gamble two times he does, evacuate his bedsitter, limit ‘kwa njoro’ visits, or even quit campus in search for a job to accommodate the three belly.

What of that worst option called abo…

“Abortion! Yes that’s the word!” shouted Puffman, garbling my contemplations

“Damn! That word really took me a hard time to think of,” he continued.

I was against it, not that I was being a suffragette but it was just wrong! He did the crime let him serve the time. But again I might lose a friend.

“Wanywaji, munachua wakati wa kunywa pobe imeisha! Haya kira mtu aonyeshe vitaburisho zao?” shouted a man, accompanied with three other men.

We thought it was Popo, the club regular officer, but we were wrong! This was a new sheriff in town!

Damn! I had forgotten my ID!